VALENTINE'S DAY! I walked around with Nicole and passed flowers out to random people, whether it was people who complimented me, or just the studious people in the library. It was a lot of fun!
I got comments like, "you're so adorable!" and "thank you, you made my day!" and "you're so sweet!" I must say that everyone else made my day as well. ♥
I must say that this was my best Valentine's Day to date, because of other events as well~
So I think it's safe to say Tanner and I are dating again... I don't think he's ready for it, since he treated me so terribly during the week, with a short temper and an uncaring attitude and whatnot, even though he insisted that we talk even though I just didn't want to deal with it. I still feel that there are a lot of areas where he can mature, and for some weird reason, spending time with him felt... Ominous in a way. Maybe I'm just scared he'll lie to me again. But man... I felt like we had just started dating again this weekend. In my eyes, he seemed like a different person, but at the same time, the same old Tanner. Silly, awkward, and adorable. XD With a lot of phat thrown in. But it still felt really wrong being with him this weekend. Like, my brain was screaming, "NOT AS PLANNED, NOT AS PLANNED!!" At the same time I couldn't help but give in...
We watched A Clockwork Orange. At first, it seemed like a terrible, vulgar movie, with tons of phalluses, nude WOMEN, mind you (yes, more things to write about over the summer), and gruesome murders and rape scenes. It really was all an opening into looking into the mind of the narrator, who obviously is extremely twisted. The rest of the movie was his psychological "recovery" to get out of jail as quickly as possible, and a turn of events that made the movie terribly cyclic. BUT, there was one amazing scene that Amanda and I will constantly elohel at:
((Stolen off of Amanda's blog, luul, but srsly, he ate so contendtedly! He just kept opening his mouth wide and om-noming.))
Next on the movie watching list: Requiem for a Dream! I loved the cinematography, I can't wait for Tanner and Amanda to watch it!
Amanda's house contained some of the cutest animals in existence. A normal-sized chihuahua (which was actually cute since she didn't have eyes too big for her face) named Salsa, an adorable tap-dancing pomeranian named Cricket, and A BUNNY. ♥♥ I miss my bunnies now. D= And my dogs. And she had a kitchen! *deprived dorm-resident* I GOT TO USE A KITCHEN! AND MAKE FOOD! THEN PROCEED TO POISON EVERYONE! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. I'm sorry about the poisoning though. D= Next time I make the rice from scratch and we all live happily ever after. I srsly blame that strange brown rice we used. Tanner was so cute and spazzing out over the fact that the rice wasn't fully submerged. XD He was like, flailing around the kitchen and whining and stuff until I just shook it down to the bottom for him. >_> Stupid boy.
We also went to the mall! We had some amazing Dairy Queen stuff as I struggled to gain back the 6 pounds I lost in one week. (My Lolita "bloomers" which are really just bike shorts were crazy loose, and I had absolutely no lovehandle-y fat anymore, although I think that could be an improvement.) We also went to FYE, where I proceeded to buy some Ramune, two copies of Rent (one for Tanner), Almond Crush Pocky (which I never thought I'd see again), and Gods know what else. I feel like I spent a lot of money this weekend...
Tanner's car kept overheating and doing scary stuff, so some of my money went to gas and buying water (which CAN BE USED IN RADIATORS phatty!) and bragging about how I knew more about cars than he did in the end. =P I don't mind spending money on him, it's fine with me, as long as I'm being shown some sort of gratefulness and it's not being taken for granted. I love feeding people too, I get it from my mum, so Amanda and Tanner, NO WORRIES, MKAY?
PHATTY'S NEWEST LIE:
Tanner [talking to Mom]: "Hey, can I sleep over at Russell's?"
Amanda [muttering to me]: "Ah, another of his wonderful lies."
Me [sort of panicking]: "Huh? Where is he really sleeping over at?"
Amanda [with this uh-oh look on her face]: "........ I guess I should tell you because he didn't tell you that he's apparently sleeping over at your place."
Me [yelling as quietly as possible]: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
The girls: *lots of laughing*
That was amazing. Now to draw that with Ouran-style faces. XD
He slept over last night, and it was very nice. I missed having him around. We talked for a bit, and I ended up having a suicide breakdown as soon as he fell asleep, and he woke up and held me and made sure everything was okay. It was really nice of him, although I was kind of hoping that he'd keep sleeping and I wouldn't have to be guilty about that either. I think my self-worth is still completely shattered. It's getting a bit better, but I still have moments where I think about suicide (like last night), and I want to see if I can help myself before I turn to a psychiatrist. I'm scared because Mom will think I'm some sort of crazy person and think I need to stay in a "special house." =_=
Had some girl-talk time with Tynelle, it all seems a bit rushed on her end, but as long as she thinks she's making the right decisions, I won't worry about her. I kind of like this new way of thinking, not lecturing people, but still acting a tad surprised when things happen anyways.
I threw up a lot this weekend, I think it had something to do with the antibiotics I was taking. D= I've been feeling pretty shitty all weekend, but I like what I was able to glean out of it. I'm no longer confused about Tanner, or pot. Pot is not my thing, but if the time ever comes where I get curious, sure, I'll be happy to try it. But as of now, I think I'm giong to sit back and let other people do the living for me. XD I just want to be around when Tanner does it so I can take stupid pictures of him. >D So that was my compromise, "Sure, go ahead and do it, but I want to be around so you don't get all cuddly and miss me too much. =P"
xoxo,
Avina
P.S. *O* *_* *-* *_* *-* *O* <---Content eating fays. ♥ Also, Amanda, I looked it up, and a droog means FRIEND! Whuzzup droogs? I think I'm going to use that from now on. XD And Tanner's phat for sleeping through it. Also, I just started reading
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I'm already hooked! Can't wait to sit down and read s'more~
OH DARLING ANTELOPE. ♥ I would love to start a "My Little Antelope" line of toys. And looking at this picture also reminds me that Starbucks Apple Chai with ice tastes fucking AMAZING. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels like drinking a Thanksgiving desert. It srsly tastes like cinnamon apples. *0*